If You Don’t Want The Result, Look Away Now

by Dick Puddlecote

If You Don’t Want The Result, Look Away Now Tomorrow morning, the EU will vote to approve the new Tobacco Products Directive.

It was written by someone who has since been effectively fired over bribery allegations, and I do mean ‘allegations’ because there was – without doubt – a perfectly reasonable explanation for his jetting off to the Bahamas to scout for places amenable to stashing “sums of up to $100 million” just before being accused of soliciting €60 million via an intermediary.

Still, that’s all water under the bridge for the EU. No point in dragging such an inconvenient fact up again. It’s not like a billion Europeans deserve a binding directive which is entirely whiff-free, now is it?

So the process moves effortlessly on to tomorrow’s vote which is taking place from 10:30am GMT and you’ll be able to watch it here if you have the time. Of course, most will be at work around then so – if that applies to you – here’s the result.


I think we’re going to require a new EU directive on time travel considering Jean-Paul’s remarkable ability to speak “after the vote” but still manage to get his opinions published the day before. I’m not sure that all precautionary avenues have been exhausted to prove that time travel is safe, do you?

Frippery aside, it’s fitting that a directive which was written under dubious circumstances; was rigged from the very beginning; was furthered by a Maltese replacement who didn’t have a clue about his subject matter; was bombarded by pharma and EU-funded lobbyists while the public were dismissed as tobacco stooges; and as recently as Friday saw its wording altered without debate or discussion, should now be declared as a foregone conclusion without so much as a pre-determined vote being cast.

There are very few certainties in this world, but tomorrow will exhibit two bankers in tandem to the detriment of Europe as a whole. Tobacco control has never been about health and the EU has never been about democracy.

Can we leave yet?

Now, I’m sure that the above may have dampened your expectations of the event but there may yet still be something unpredictable to look out for. The BBC reports that the stand out most liberal nation in the EU is sending a representative to speak tomorrow.

The voting session will be interrupted by a formal address to MEPs from Milos Zeman, the President of the Czech Republic.

And rumour has it that he may be contemplating blasphemy by talking about {gasp} the freedom to smoke! So place your bets, ladies and gentlemen. Will he be browbeaten by McAvan and her cronies or stick to his script and enrage legions of tax-sponging Euro tobacco control execs by mentioning the ‘F-word’?

Milos, we double dare you!o6CviNyPKxI

One response to “If You Don’t Want The Result, Look Away Now

  1. Yes Sir.

    What the E.U. is doing is awful.

    This whole ideology (going back to 19th century German “nature” nuts and so on) is awful.

    And it is now powerful in Britain also.