Hate Crime in the Plain Light of Day

by Sean Gabb

I’ve just been told a very un-pc joke. It’s about a drug for depressed lesbians called Tricocagen. Of course, I felt physically sick, and am about to go in search of a police officer so I can do my civic cuty of informing on the sicko-nazi who told it. There are laws in modern England against this kind of hate crime. I only pretended to laugh….

14 responses to “Hate Crime in the Plain Light of Day

  1. And I can taste the vomit that comes unbidden into my mouth as I recall a joke I once heard at school about a sugical intervention for lesbians called a strapadictomy. My face tightens with self-disgust, and I wonder if I should turn myself in for inappropriate thoughts that contribute to an unacceptable climate of fear among our LGBT community.

  2. Took bit of time to get it-then LOL!

  3. Oh, I see…..after quite a while.

  4. Julius Blumfeld

    Nope. Still struggling after 5 minutes. Give me a clue.

  5. No, you will have to try to get it yourself.

  6. I trust you have applied for suitable compensation for mental distress and that counselling is being provided by the local authorities.

  7. Counselling? Counselling? I’ll have you know that, being myself a black lesbian in the eyes of the British State, I need more than that. I want compensation.

  8. Someone has just harassed me in a private e-mail about my claimed status. Here goes:

    By an authoritative declaration of the Greater London Council (c1983), persons of Irish heritage are to be regarded as black for all purposes of public funding. This declaration has never been withdrawn by any other agency of the British State.

    Under equality guidelines, accepted by the present Government, a person is to be regarded as of the other sex the moment s/he announces any intention to seek gender reassignment. If that person is still biologically a man, she is to be regarded as a woman. If she is married and still living with her wife, she is by definition a lesbian. If she never does go through with the operation, she may be regarded for some purposes as a victim of homophobic discrimination.

    I therefore insist that I am a black lesbian – and a longstanding victim of homophobic discrimination. Anyone who denies this may be subject to arrest and deportation to the Hague to stand trial for crimes against humanity.

    Can I please have my grant, somebody?

  9. I should confess that all the above was very helpful yesterday, when the plot of my new novel arrived in my head in a long and very bright flash of illumination. I felt the need of some distraction.

    But the plot is now almost fully developed, and I think I can have the novel finished by the end of next month. I promise it will be as original – or perhaps as eccentric – as The Churchill Memorandum.

  10. Is that the one that Mr Blake had said to us via yourself that you were writing? Or is it yet another one?

  11. “Tricocagen” doesn’t sound right for this joke, as one would instinctively expect the c to be soft before e, thus making it sound “trycocajen”. A better alternative would be Tricocagaine. It sounds more like the name of a drug and it’s got the advantage of having a hard g.

    I have way too much time on my hands.

  12. Perhaps you should reduce your amount of free time by making longer and more relevant comments on this blog.

  13. Thank you for your invitation to make longer comments. For the moment, however, I’ve just thought of a drug for men who feel depressed or guilty about being heterosexual: Tricottagin (soft g).

  14. I am wondering how to successfully submit an article to the LA blog. I posted an article on “copyright” in the LA blog queue, awaiting moderation, 2 days ago (it is identical to the article on my own website at http://www.corkirish.com/wordpress/archives/2146), and sent emails to both Sean Gabb and David Davis. But neither of them indicated the article has been rejected. It is just that nothing has happened.