Eh ludd, I couldn’t resist…..

Michale Winning

Ah just’-add-ta-post-it, me! It-wer’a greeat comment, like. Makes you wonder how you lern to write so well, wisdh I could.

Nation’s Spirits Raised As Gabb Returns

Englishmen and their wives the length and breadth of the kingdom were today much cheered by the news that Sean Gabb would be imminently returning to our shores. On the stock market, there was a sharp rally as a new spirit of confidence rippled through traders. And in the streets of humble towns and villages, impromptu street parties broke out, requiring an urgent and brutal response by the lads of the PCSO.

A government spokesman reassured this organ that everything is under control, and that our nation’s institutions are well trained to deal with a surprise Gabb. Said Interior Minister Lord Sleaze Of Islington, “we have dealt with a sudden Gabb before, and nobody should be alarmed. While the return of a Libertarian of this magnitude has been known to cause spontaneous outbreaks of spontaneity, rest assured that we will take them in our stride; all police leave has been cancelled and weapons issued. This is England. You are not here to enjoy yourself.”

Reports that Gabb would be making a triumphal entry into London, riding in a gilded carriage drawn by beautiful white mares and surrounded by a remarkable entourage of dancers, acrobats, jugglers and performing animals have not been confirmed and continued on page 3

5 responses to “Eh ludd, I couldn’t resist…..

  1. Heh :)

    For those wondering what the heck is the meaning of this, it was inspired by a comment in a previous thread which went-

    “I think it is worth saying as clearly as possible. I shall be back in England tomorrow, and can then give more encouragement.

    which if you read it without taking into account that the “thing worth saying” is something previous in the thread (particularly if you imagine the first full stop as a semi-colon) looks very much like Sean is asserting a very great importance to his return itself, and that tickled my funny bone.

  2. Hey, I have just noticed the “page 3” bit at the end of yours, Ian. Does that mean that Gabb’s procession and motorcade will include what Richard Blake would call in his novels….”dancing girls”…?

  3. Being the modest sort that I am, my return last night went almost unremarked. But for the brief attentions of the passport clerks in Dunkirk, it would have been wholly unremarked. Stand by for details of my official and more truimphal return to our blessed shores. It will, I assure you, make the triumphal scene from Aida look dowdy.

  4. Libertarian Expeditionary Force Escapes Continent In ‘Dunkirk Miracle’

  5. C H Ingoldby

    The nation rejoices.

    Unfurl the banners, look at the screen, never before has such glory been seen!