I did flag up Kate Middleton as The Next Queen (who would matter) in 2006, but everybody laughed and sneered

David Davis

I does grieve me to say this, but I predicted all this stuff years ago, emphasising why it might be important who Prince William would marry, and what it would mean to libertarians in general and the Anglosphere in particular.

I had not crafted the terms “GramscoFabiaNazi”, “GramscoStaliNazi”, and “GreeNazi” when I was writing nervously and newly, on a well-known blog, at that time. If I had, I would have used them. Now there exists “David’s Law”, which says that:

“As a discussion of socialists correctly pre-labelled as Nazis (as they are) progresses on the internet, the probability that someone will shout “SWIVEL-EYED!” or “LITTLE ENGLANDER!” approaches 1.”

AND…! We didn’t even know about Pippa Middleton’s bottom then, either, did we.

8 responses to “I did flag up Kate Middleton as The Next Queen (who would matter) in 2006, but everybody laughed and sneered

  1. I really don’t understand all this about this girl’s bottom. It’s not the worst in the world but people are banging on about it like it’s Helen of Troy’s bottom, a bottom that will sail a thousand ships, or something.

    They’re really a rather average looking pair, the Middletons. “Pippa” has a boxer’s nose and Kate is now so thin that if she gets any thinner she’ll invert; she seems to be at that stage where a woman tries to stave off the Wile E Coyote Moment by shedding every gramme of fat that may sag, which is a bit like curing erectile dysfunction by cutting off your cock.

    I really cannot stand any of them, bunch of ghastly middle class social climbers. The Royals I mean, not the Middletons.

  2. This is ridiculous. Everyone expects the next Queen to be Siân Phillips, and there will surely be rioting in the streets if this does not happen. It would be unforgivable if the most beautiful and wondrous being in the universe were passed over because of some stupid administrative error. The various pseudo-Royals can be abolished by giving them small pensions. All that is needed to make us the envy of the entire world is to have Siân seated on a throne of rose quartz and amethyst (of course it must be well padded with the expensive furs of exotic and highly endangered animals). On the day when Siân is seated thereon, Her exquisite brow surmounted by a slender circlet of gold adorned with priceless gems, and one exquisite hand extended graciously in order that it be kissed by a succession of crawling foreign royals, dignitaries, and an awe-struck and grovelling Pope, we shall witness the birth of an unending golden age of peace and goodwill among all people, regardless of colour or creed. Former rampant feminists will hug hairy and formerly misogynistic brutes; formerly antisemitic skinheads with unsightly swastika tattoos will embrace rabbis; and so on. And all will be gazing at each other and around them with eyes misted with tears of ecstatic joy. More than this, predatory animals will cease to prey, and will instead dance joyously with vegetarian ones. Lions will gambol with gazelles, sharks will frolic with dolphins, and anteaters will kiss termites and ants instead of eating them. I could go on about this most joyous day in the history of our planet until my keyboard literally falls to pieces, but I know that everyone has dreamed of this for years and has that you each have your own own notion of just how fantastically amazingly incredible it is going to be. Now am I right or am I right?

  3. Sorry folks – Just quick postscript to my previous comment, which I belatedly read. First, apologies for the typo I noticed: a completely irrelevant “has” toward the end. Second for those might misconstrue me, I do not wish to imply that dolphins or ants are vegetarian (though certain species of ants are or may become so). Other than these two points, I don’t believe I have said anything that could be regarded as doubtful or contradicted in any way.

  4. I was being ironic about the Pippabottom.

    Perhaps all the hoohah on the Day was regarding the fact that the MSM-newshounds were kicking themselves that they’d totally ignored the object hitherto, and their departmental editors were threatening to make their futures unclear, unless they came up with justifiable reasons.

  5. Mario Huet

    Well, David, all I can say is I just hope your negligent comments don’t result in foul abuse from justifiably outraged readers. The people of Britain want Goddess-Queen Siân, and it is foolish and insensitive of you to suggest the possibility of an alternative. Also, Siân Herself may grow righteously wrathful and smite you with rose petals and fluffy kittens. If you won’t think of your own soul and safety, at least give a thought to those simians in your hut. Without you to feed them they’ll doubtless be growing hungry rather quickly, and then frenziedly trying eat each other. It would be a sad day for the LA when the reports of mutilated and desiccated little corpses hit the press.

  6. Am I committing some species of treason if I observe that a certain young person of the utmost quality is going very bald?

  7. That’s because the defining characteristic of the impoverished Windsor gene pool is that every male looks like George III by the age of 35, as in fact do most of the women.

  8. P Robinson

    “every male looks like George III by the age of 35”

    Don’t you mean George V? Or Tsar Nicholas II? Or Edward VIII?

    Whatever – all somewhat incestuous.