A Miracle in Italy

28 October , 18:36

(ANSAmed) – ROME, OCTOBER 28 – When Italian youth Tulgio Serdipini, came off his motorcycle, doctors in the small Calabrian town of Ritirata pronounced him brain dead and wanted to turn off his life support machine. However, his mother, Agnellescina (37), refused to sign the necessary consent. “He will wake up and eat a dish of my cannelloni,” she told all who would listen.

For six weeks, she sat day and night beside his bed, hoping against hope for a miracle. On an accordion, she played songs by little Tulgio’s favourite group, the Killer Boy Rats. She read out the whole lyrical poetry of Metastasio. It was all to no effect. The doctors and lawyers pressed her with increasing force to sign the consent. “My son will wake up yet and eat a dish of my cannelloni,” she repeated, though with diminishing assurance.

Finally, an old Gypsy woman pressed into her hands a much-thumbed copy of “La Cospirazione Papale”, by Richard Blake, the critically-acclaimed and international best-selling novelist from England. “Read this to your son,” the old woman begged her. “Read it and he truly will eat a dish of your cannelloni.”

So she took up a novel that, in translation, had already become a cult classic in Italy. As she finished its first chapter, young Tulgio’s eyes flickered. By the end of chapter 15, his eyes were fully open. Soon, he was sitting up in bed. As Agnellescina finished the last words of the last chapter, her son did indeed eat a dish of her cannelloni.

“It is nothing less than a miracle,” said Stiletto Giovanni, spokesperson for the Bishop of Ritirata. “His Grace recommends that all should buy the works of Signor Blake. Truly, he is an instrument of the divine providence.”

Speaking from England, Richard Blake confirmed that his new novel, “Blood of  Alexandria, will be published in paperback in January 2011. He promised that Tulgio would receive a signed copy. This will replace the copy of “La Cospirazione Papale,” which has been removed to Ritirata Cathedral for veneration by the faithful.

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7 responses to “A Miracle in Italy

  1. Can we expect Mr Blake to vouchsafe the Faithful by proferring an actual Apparition, any time in the forseeable future?

    When that shall occur, shall a Shrine be erected, and it become a Place of Pilgrimage?

    Kent might be a good location. Then Mr Blake’s Spokesperson could keep an eye on it.

  2. He did put in a brief appearance at the LA conference, where he gave a signed copy of one of his novels to Peter Tatchell.

  3. I guess the REAL conspiracy is the total disappearance of the original story and the expunging of Tulgio Serdipini’s details from every other website in the world. Not only that, but almost all traces of Ritirata Cathedral have been eliminated in the past few hours.

    I hope the Templars haven’t located Mr Blake, I was looking forward to his next tome.

  4. It’s a little known fact that the Quran is a miracle cure for haemorrhoids.

    It’s something to do with the consistency of the paper.

  5. Careful, Ian!

    We’ll get angry nation-sized mobs of Rage-Boys on CNN and the BBC next, ritually firing their AK47s into the air while burning copies of LA pamphlets, or chainsawing through DVDs of Sean Gabb speaking to a Conservative Association.

  6. I think also, that I’ll offer a 5p voucher towards a ration-issue-bottle of British State Champagne-Substitute (non-alcoholic) for the best plot-summary for Mr Blake’s next novel after whichever one he is currently writing.

  7. When this young lad came off his bike where was Richard Blake?

    As we know some people will do anything to sell a book or two.