So what should we do now?

David Davis

It’s the morning of the General Election result, UK, 2010.

All the ballot-boxes for Labour’s Rotten and Pocket Boroughs have been mysteriously “mislaid” in the small hours, after the solid 90% majorities for Gordon Brown and his GFNs were triumphantly declared by the BBC during the night on uncommonly high turnouts to show workers’ solidarity, so a number of unfathomable evil people have been re-elected to the Commons, incliding “Jacqui” “Smith” and “Gordon” “Brown”. But the overall picture gives “Cast Iron Dave” a tentative working majority of about 40 seats. A number of “New Labour new-Britain-franchise extension facilitators” were caught during the night, trying to open and stuff ballot boxes in what they termed “safe Tory seats”, and were summarily shot at the roadside by “vigilantes” claiming to be members of the “Libertarian Alliance”, an extremist-right-wing fringe political group of skinheads and Gramscian intellectuals.

The draft-make-up of the Commons seems to be:

Conservative = 343

Lib Dem = 24

Labor = 260 (further enquiries to be made about counting irregularities later, although “no-one to be charged”)

UKIP = 14

BNP = 1

SNP = 2

IRA = 2

So what could be done about the Lisbon disaster?

The easiest plan is for the incoming administration simply to say that we have left the EU. Since it will probably be the Tories, and since these have already nailed their colours to the mast by saying that any referendum can only be about whether more powers can be extended to the EU than now (and since the EU now has all the powers it needs, Lisbon being automatically-self-amending) the only substantive decision to be taken is whether to leave the EU or not.

2 responses to “So what should we do now?

  1. I am alarmed at this post because it does not address the seriousness of Cameron’s apparent betrayal of the will of the British people and what he had indicated he would do.
    Further that he seeks to justify his actions by stating that because some other people on distant shores have decided Lisbon is de facto there is nothing poor Davy can do to save Britain. Except perhaps he’s even almost got a better plan that he will not give anything more away than everything.
    You don’t address this but make comments about shooting people who stuff ballot boxes.
    You are not rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic but talking of shooting the stewards who doing naughties.
    Am I right to be alarmed?

  2. You are right to be alarmed. Although as you can see, my scenario is mythic.

    But I think that the level of pent-up rage now bubbling, mostly invisibly under, in the minds of the few thousand people who still think critically about politics in the UK.

    It would be an interesting time to quickly pen and publish a political future-history-novel, perhaps using real names of existing politicians.