“Englishness”, whatever that is, includes a gift for self-deprecating humour. We can even be funny about the acts of people who hate and fear our culture so deeply, for what it shows about the ultimate realisation and fate of theirs, that they’d really like to bury ours under a mound of forgetfulness.
|HAPPY ST GEORGE’S DAY!|
|Seasons of Steyn|
|Wednesday, 23 April 2008|
|April 23rd is England’s unofficial national holiday – unofficial because, under Blairite devolution, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and selected Muslim neighborhoods of Greater London, Yorkshire and the Midlands are all nations, but English nationalism is a dark demon that must never be loosed upon the land. This whimsical if-the-English-were-like-the-Irish column first appeared in Tony Blair’s pre-Iraq heyday seven years ago: (17th March 2001, Daily Telegraph, copyright Mark Steyn)
England on the march
New York, 2051 – The annual St George’s Day parade dominated the city today as thousands of English-Americans proudly marched up Fifth Avenue led by Mayor Chelsea Clinton in the colourful garb of the English community’s traditional mascot, “Ken-John Peel”. (Peel was a mythological figure who used to roam the countryside with his “goat so gay” – an animal in the advanced stages of BSE.) Other parade members dressed as St George, the small “cheeky chappie” known as a “leperchaun”, a word deriving from a notorious denunciation of the English 50 years ago this month, when Irish Cabinet minister Hugh Byrne referred to the country as “the leper of Europe”. St George is usually accompanied by his “dragon” – an intimidating female figure in a blue suit swinging a giant “handbag”.
The good-natured throng, including many prominent English-American political leaders, sang such well-loved favourites as “Let’s All Go Down The Strand (‘Ave A Banana!)”, the old rebel song commemorating a march on government buildings during the dark days of the “meat famine”, when the haughty Celtic governor Tony Blair dismissed the emaciated peasants and advised them to become vegetarian. As in the less popular St Patrick’s Day parade, participants march under the banners of their ancient English counties – “Avon”, “Humberside”, “Salop” and “West Midlands”. Many of these were abolished when Governor Blair, in a cynical attempt to crush the nationalist movement, “partitioned” the kingdom of England into different regions. Most marchers regard these divisions as artificial and waved placards calling for a “United England”.
St George’s celebrations are still outlawed in England under Draconian measures dating back to the Blairite regime. In the late 20th century, many Scottish families – the Blairs, Browns, Cooks, Darlings – settled in England, seizing the rich pasture land of north London, driving the local chieftains from the Palace of Westminster, and forcing the native population to work in servile, degrading jobs such as “Leader of the Opposition”. Many still speak of the effete decadent sadistic viceroy, Lord Irvine, who had entire herds of cattle slaughtered merely so that he could use….