It gives me no pleasure to say, Gordon Brown,
“As Prime Minister’s go, you were shittest in town!”
It’s hard to recall whether anyone faster,
Could’ve turned our great country into a disaster.
Not elected to office was Gordon, but plucked,
From a short-list of one – that’s the reason we’re fucked!
With democracy held in contempt from the start
Gordon, unchecked, could tear Britain apart.
The man who dared not in the voters put trust,
told us “Never again will our country go bust”!
But he set out at once on a mission of doom,
wasting no time at all in abolishing boom.
Bent as he was upon wrecking the nation,
The plebiscite promise was quickly forsaken.
Our hard-won and cherished self-determination
Was swapped for a zone in the New Federation.
Nothing’s been spared from his wanton destroyment:
You voted for Labour, you got unemployment!
Indebted forever – your future’s been sold
at a knock-down price (just like Brown gets for gold)
So with all we once had, flushed away down the pan,
We held our breath, waiting to hear Gordon’s plan:
“DNA-che’ yer wains! CRB-che’ yer gran!
Dinnae say tha’ ye’r white, or ye’r straigh’ or a man!”
“Ah ken juist hoo tae handle th’ public purse!
Ye’r jammy tae huv me! th’ Tories ur worse!
Tax-payer’s homes whiles git repossessed!
Ah kip weel ilk nicht! Dinnae s’pose a’m depressed”!
“Among th’ G20 th’ view’s widely shared
That cheers tae mah leadership Earth haes bin spared
Fae certain American sub-prime catastrophe!
Mind? Ah kin cure cyclical atrophy!”
England’s been purged of your mental delusions.
You were the problem, pal, not the “sul-yoo-shun”.
Good riddance, wrecking-ball “Son of the Manse”!
Now that you’re gone, we might stand half a chance…