You have to be 16+ to buy Christmas crackers…


David Davis

I didn’t know things had declined this far. h/t the Oboclown.

Clearly, crackers contain dangerous explosives, and ought to be only issued on presentation of a State-Blauschein, countersigned by your local Gauleiter or “Neighbourhood Safety Manager”.

To get round the restrictions if you are a parent under the age of 15, and you need crackers for the kids, do this: the recipe for black powder substitute is here, and the detonators are here. You still will be unable to buy the reactants though….

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One response to “You have to be 16+ to buy Christmas crackers…

  1. …if you are a parent under the age of 15, and you need crackers for the kids…

    Nice :-) though surely the grandparents could still buy them. They’d have to be at least in their late twenties.