Helllllllooooooooooooooooooooo Peeps. I have recently suffered a major embuggeration. Tis now sorted. Puter is back and so am I. Goddamn it, I have soooooo missed ranting/moaning. Puter broke just as all the shit (that you, me, them, everyone has been Blogging about for ages) hit the fan – Big Time.
My last post (from the Library of Old Peeps) was on the 6th of May and to be quite honest the last 2 weeks and 1 day have been the longest, most boring, most frustrating, most annoying, most……well, everything really, of my life. I have been reliant on Sky News and the BBC for TV coverage (YAWN !!!!!) and have spent so much money on ’Dead Wood’ I could have bought a lap top.
So what have I missed?. God knows. I have a lot of reading/catching up to do. How ever I will give you some observations to be going on with.
1 – Acer are very good at fixing Puters.
2 – Having no T’internet sucks – Big Time.
3 - Spain GP was Fan-Bloody-Tastic. Go Brawn. I wanted Barrichello to win but Jenson got it instead. I Hope Brawn don’t cock it up big time. I am looking to them to make F1 fantastic again but I can see Barrichellos’ point. Ferrari lost their appeal against next seasons 40 million cap. LOL. They are threatening to leave GP. I thought they already had.
4 - Expenses Row – Loving it. Snuffle – gobble – snuffle – gobble – KerrrrrrrrrrBang. Byeeeeeeee.
5 - Mr Martin. Best you get your missus a bus pass. Oh, and best you inform her that next year it’s Skegness.
6 - Gurkhas – Welcome Home. Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister and Joanna Lumley for Minister of State for Borders and Immigration.
7 - Dizaei – Can you turn this one into a racist slur on your character and save your career yet again. Time to bugger off, me thinks. It is bad enough that the public dislikes you, but when your own Police Force hates you with a passion, it really is time to leave. Think of your pension man – tis better to resign than get the sack (see 5) above) - Ta ta.
8 - Baby Peter mother offers apology – Yep I’m sure you do. You have just realised that when you go to prison, every one, FUCKING EVERY ONE, from the lowest scummy druggy crim to the Board of Governors is going to want you dead – ASAP. You didn’t just allow your ‘Boyfriend’ to kill your son but you also allowed him to rape a 2 year old girl, who I suspect was your daughter. If I am wrong here, fucking sue me you piece of shit sucking scum.
9 - Some one, some where, last week, wrote (in the papers) a quote that made me laugh out loud. It went something along the lines of ‘ People stopped by to visit and offer their condolences to the smouldering wreck that was The speaker of the House’. Feel free to let me know who it was, it was classic.
10 - It is much safer to get bolloxed and rant on/in t’internet/blogosphere. Getting wankered and letting rip in local pub/with friends/with family is not the same. It also gets you in Deepo Shitto!!!!!!!.
Am off to check out my favourite Bloggs. Will be leaving copious pissed up comments. Please bear with me. It’s good to be back.
* If you don’t know what an embuggeration is, well to be honest, I am disappointed in you.