British Stalinist government, in bed with the media, now interfering in voluntary contractual shopping arrangements. 13 reasons why you should demand free plastic carrier-bags.


David Davis 

And those were just the 13 I could stump up with in as many minutes of typing. You ‘orrible lot will want to add more – so, comments please! 

Today, we have this splashed all over the Daily Mail. The Dear Leader, Gordon Brown, has “thrown his weight” behind the Daily Mail’s landmark campaign to “banish the bags”, with an “impassioned plea” to retailers.

Here are some extracts;

 Gordon Brown gives supermarkets one year to start charging for plastic bags … or else…..

The Prime Minister is lending his voice to the Daily Mail’s campaign against the blight of “plastic poison”.

Supermarkets will be forced to charge their customers for disposable carrier bags under plans for a new green levy drawn up by Gordon Brown. They will be given a year to end their reliance on single-use plastic bags or face a legal requirement to introduce a charge and reveal how much it raises.

Gordon Brown: Plan for action in war on plastic

The Prime Minister will introduce legislation next month to impose a charge of 5p or even more on all giveaway bags next year if they fail to comply.

And today he throws his weight behind the Daily Mail’s landmark “Banish the Bags” campaign with an impassioned plea to retailers.

Writing exclusively for the Mail, he urges them to follow the example of Marks & Spencer by calling time on the wasteful culture of free single-use carrier bags that is fouling the planet.

And he reveals that like millions of families each week, he and his wife Sarah are left with a “binful of plastic bags” from their supermarket delivery to remind them of the scale of the problem.

The Mail campaign, and its shocking image of a majestic giant turtle swathed in deadly plastic, has triggered an unprecedented response from readers clamouring for action to end “plastic pollution” caused by 13billion bags handed out by shops each year.

Film stars, environmental groups, academics and politicians have rallied to the campaign.

Last night, Tesco and Sainsbury’s responded to public pressure by confirming that they are drawing up plans to reduce the amount of plastic bags they give away.

And yesterday, the trade body which represents 33,000 convenience stores said they are ready to accept a plastic bag tax in a bid to reduce the number handed out.

There are suspicions that many major chains have been dragging their feet on the issue.

Threats of force if non-compliance ensues do not, to me, sound like an “impassioned plea”. This is, in semantic terms, what is called “ruling by decree”. 

Furthermore, if   Film stars, environmental groups, academics and politicians   have all “rallied” to this cause, then, like Margaret Thatcher used to do with each morning’s Guardian newspaper (she read it and decided to do exacty the opposite of what it recommended) we ought to run a mile from these people.

And…..John Band of bantitry has also just ripped the pants off the greenazis here. (Hat Tip from the Devil.)

And not, here are MY thirteen reasons to use and praise the polythene carrier bag:

(1) it uses less than one cc of cheap, burnable hydrocarbons – it is the singel most efficient and cheapest method of bulk carriage on the planet, or ever.

(2) it requires little energy resources to make, per unit bag, and can be burnt afterwards, to release its carbon back to the air where it correctly belongs.

(3) you can clear up child-vomit into it and bin it for no money.

(4) you can carry stuff home on the bus easily in it.

(5) making it gives employment to thousands of people, here and in LDCs.

(6) you can recycle bulk amounts of them, if you really really must, into low-grade plastic goods.

(7) it sets man apart from the “animals”, who have foolishly, and to their eternal mortal peril, not studied chemistry and so not developed means of moving bulk goods; so they go extinct, or starve in the dark when food is scarce (and then greenazis make us run along and jump about and get them out of their mess.)

(8) you can wrap stuff in it for storage for long periods, and unlike paper or “natural” products, it stays waterproof, does not go mouldy, and does not degrade.

(9) you can hurl in-car-rubbish wrapped in one, into a passing litter-bin, without getting out of the car. You have only to wind down the window, park within 5 feet of the bin, and aim well.

(10) you can line the inside of the roof of your thatched caveman’s hut with lots of them (laid like slates, start at the BOTTOM, overlap triple in thirds just like slate (as used to be) row by row, and work UP!) when the greenazis stop you from building proper houses that you can live in. The handles even act like hooks and can be hung over the projecting twig-ends, so you don’t even have to use the nails that they won’t allow you to anyway (too much “carbon”.) Then, when you can’t replace the rotting thatch as the greenazis won’t let you cut any more reeds from the new wetlands where Cambridge used to stand, the water still won’t get inside.

(11) Gordon Brown, the dear leader, and Sarah, the Mother of the People, have decreed that those with whom you would voluntarily do business, may not offer you, of their own volition, a convenient way to carry away your just goods, for nothing. This last alone is good and sufficient reason for at last standing up to the Nazi leftist control-freakish moonbattery of our Dear Leaders and their unconscionably wicked (they KNOW they are doing it, it is deliberate) film-star friends.

(12) you can put ot over your head in bed while shagging the slightly rough bird you picked up in the disco after the students’ uni-meeting; or you can do the “double-bag-job” – she wears one too in case yours falls off.

(13) you can vomit into it on those long bus-journeys the greenazis will make you take everywhere, using your “internal passport” (see MEG HILLIER MP  (Lab.) ) after cars are banned. Then, stow it surreptitiously between the broken and parting plastic wall-plates of the bus, just before you queue off.

If the grocers cave in, we are truly lost. Not just this, everything.

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9 responses to “British Stalinist government, in bed with the media, now interfering in voluntary contractual shopping arrangements. 13 reasons why you should demand free plastic carrier-bags.

  1. (14) You can put one over the head for a quick and convienient method of curing hiccups brought about by ingesting several gallons of strong lager, or a Subway sandwich.

    (15) These bags are mostly biodegradable anyway, or at least I think they are.

  2. The amount of material in them is so nugatory anyway that it is barely significant whether they are or not. But you try leaving one outside in full wind and sun, in Lancs for a few months, and it sort of disintegrates into shreddy powder in your hand. (Guess they’re not very good for underthatch water-proofing after all then – except they are in the dark and out of the wind so maybe it’s OK. Needless to say, I haven’t tried this method of complying with “building regulations” yet!)

    (16) You can keep records and past newspaper cuttings, for ever, going back way back when, in the outhouse, in them – all libertarians do, even Chris Tame started out like that. (I have several boxes full of such collations of antique paper, in old Sainsbury bags from the 70s and 80s, and they are still reasonably sound – maybe we used more of “The Oil” in their making, in those days.)

    (17) You can make 225,000 trillion more of them, still, even from the supposedly-depleted reserves of crude which the greenazi pessimists say is all that’s left!

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