Newspeak comes to Burnley!

This just recently from Freedom and Whisky.

(Telly Dailygraph 23.07.07)

 Binman’s St George bandana ‘is racist’
 By Nigel BunyanLast Updated: 1:45am BST 23/07/2007 

A black dustman has been banned from wearing a St George’s Cross bandana because council officials say it could be regarded as racist. Matthew Carter, 35, who was born in Barbados, used the headgear to keep his dreadlocks out of the way while he was on his rounds in Burnley, Lancs. He had done so for seven months before his photograph appeared in a local newspaper. A number of local people complained, and his superiors called him.“I received a verbal warning,” Mr Carter said yesterday. “They told me the St George’s Cross was not allowed to be seen on any clothing we wear because it could be considered offensive and racist.”Ian McInery, the operational services manager for Pendle council, defended the decision to discipline Mr Carter. He said: “We have made it clear to staff that they are not allowed to put stickers or flags on bin wagons or wear clothing which shows support for a particular team, group or country.“We can’t make one rule for one person and one for another. It’s just a common-sense approach that we are sticking to.”Mr Carter still wears a bandana but one that bears the image of a skull and crossbones.

Clearly, when a socialist says something, it now means the opposite. Furthermore, Libertarians ought to agree that law-abiding Christian sea-traders might consider a skull-and-crossbones definitely offensive, and quite possibly racist, since the bones depicted will always have been from a race (even a religion) other than that of the pirates, who would have not had the best interests of the said traders at heart. But I don’t expect Mr McInery will discipline Mr Carter for that.

One rule for one person and one for another.

The great wheelie-bin curse is upon us as a nation; time to make good come out of evil.

These excrescences have arrived en masse, typically in foul 70s-retro-Biba-type socialist-chic colours. One Soviet’s bins in the Liverpool “Gau” are a particularly repellent shade of bright magenta, which I previously only thought suitable for the more appropriate types of ladies’ visible underwear. They will now disfigure the country (the bins, not the underwear sadly.) Metal dustbins were much more iconic of liberalism, since they were statistically all different within a small area. They would quickly go a sort of brownish grey shade, merging into the background, like conservative people. You could burn stuff directly in them also, hence returning millions of tons of much needed CO2 to the atmosphere where it rightly belongs for the good of the Earth, while simultaneously reducing the volume of “waste” you produced.

We are to pay through the nose for these, an unfortunate turn of my phrase but there you are. However, I offer on this bolg a prize, which is (to be, sometime, when I get around to it) a hypertext link to a FIAT-paper voucher (the relevant experts are to convene a meeting to explore the feasibility of the scheme) to be exchanged for a bottle of State Champagne-Substitute, which will be awarded for each further useful suggestion for their uses, which gets successfully added to my preliminary list of ten below;

 10 useful things to do with wheelie-bins………. 

1                   Use as H&SE-approved substitute for sacks in “sack races” if not allowed to race “solo”  (oh, er, sorry, I forgot that you can’t say the word “race” any more.)

2                   Drill small drainage holes all the way up each side and grow potatoes in them (got to dig for victory after the floods…)

3                   Ditto carrots – height deters carrot-fly.

4                   Leave outside charity shops after filling with smelly old clothes.

5                   Ballast with half an inch of lead plate in bottom, and paddle around Tewkesbury.

6                   Upturn and stand on inverted base, to call for help after capsizing (see (5) above.) 

7                   “Install” 1,762,468 bins at the Tate-Modern.

8                   Place on side and use as long kennel for very short dog.

9                   Fill with concrete and use as barricades (if you are a socialist student.)

10      Fill black ones with concrete and place horizontally, three deep, across middle-class residential roads at night, to deter young male feral men with no hair driving W-reg Vauxhall Novas at 134 mph. An unplanned cheap flight of some 20-30 yards will result.